I think I have had what can only be described as the best weekend of my life.
My Leeds festival experience started on Wednesday morning, when I woke up thought 'Oh shit, I'm going to be in a tent for the next 5 days' and promptly refused to get out of bed until half an hour before I was due to leave for Danny's.
After I'd arrived and appropriately ripped Danny for wearing wellies 8 hours before we were due to set off, we nipped into Northwhich for emergancy supplies ie; sandwiches, chilli dorritos, fanta, chocolate, sanitary towels and 40 cigarettes for me and then headed to Will's from where we were due to set off.
At half 10 we jetted off in a little convoy of cars, stopping at every service station on the way up just to use the toilets even if we didn't need them. We got our first Leeds mascot in the form of a bouncy ball which I'm sure we lost before we even got to the festival, and we managed to cause havoc in the lorry carpark of the last service station by parking there by mistake and excessively using our airhorn.
After hitting a pothole on the way out of the station we were convinced we wouldn't make the last few miles of the trip with the wheel making a rather dubious sound and sounding like it was going to fall off, however we arrived there with maximum excitement and no casualties.
Pitching the tents at 3 in the morning was an experience, and sleep wasn't granted for us until about 5 am Thursday morning when Marie and I crawled into our sleeping bags for some much needed rest while the lads were still out exploring; however, sadly, sleep was not to be for us as people repeatedly tripped over the guide ropes for the tent and fell on the tent all night, making us wake up multiple times. Then when Rusty and Blaine eventually came back to go to sleep they were giggling like little girls at a sleepover so sleep once again evaded us.
Thursday was uneventful in the majority, and rather boring considering nothing went on. We braved the festival toilets for the first time and realised they weren't quite as bad as they were cracked up to be, and the weather was glorious so the bikinis were brought out and were worn the majority of the day. The boys went for a free Chlamydia test at one point and came back with 'My Tackle's Been Tested' boxers, which they wore with great pride.
Friday the music kicked off, with Enter Shikari my favourite band being the first of the day I wanted to see. We trekked to the arena and put up with a rather awful set by Eagles of Death Metal before Shikari came on. I have to say that despite the fact they're my favourite band, their set wasn't the best it could have been. The sound wasn't as good as in a smaller venue, and with various technical problems it didn't make for the best set of the day, however I still completely loved every second. I also think it would have been better if I could have got a better position in the audience, I was too far back and the only person really singing along and dancing whereas I wanted to be in the pit. You Me At Six and The Blackout also put on good shows, with both playing my favourite songs and giving me a chance to sing along and have a dance. The signings tent was also a good spot, meeting Oli Sykes and the rest of Bring Me The Horizon was amazing, as was meeting Enter Shikari again and having them recognise me. My hat they all signed must have increased in value by a good hundred pounds or so now! The highlight of Friday however was definately Bring Me The Horizon's set-they really got the crowd going, and the guitarist playing from the top of the Festival Republic tent is something I won't forget in a hurry.
Saturday was another good day, with Crystal Castles providing me with my high point, a fantastic set and a damn good rave! Unfortunately this was the day I began to feel ill on and it all went downhill from there in that respect, with me having to leave early Sunday morning and not catching any of the bands I really wanted to see on the Sunday.
However despite leaving early, I made so many memories I definately won't be forgetting in a hurry such as Rent-A-Sheep, Stoned? Name your Rizzla! Blamange, Pureeeeeeeeeeeeeeee 94!, There's 96!...no...wait...it's still 95, Slingshots down Orange Hill, Poo Girl, Sledging down Orange Hill and every other memory that's not coming to mind now but surely will at some point further down the line.
Another high point to my weekend was a certain text from a certain person 'I really can't be without you can I?' (L)
Monday, 31 August 2009
Friday, 21 August 2009
Promise I'll Be Fine, But I Won't Stop Until That Boy Is Mine.
So; I've met someone perfect.
'Oh suprise, suprise Lucy; when have you never met someone who's perfect?'
But he really is.
He calls/texts when he says he will. If he says he'll be somewhere then he will be, and if he's late he still turns up and is always completely apologetic.
So what's the problem then?
My parents believe that his family is rough, and that therefore he is too and that I'm going to be in some sort of danger and getting involved with the wrong people if we get together, not to mention that apparently the house and dogs are also in some sort of grave danger should the two of us break up or something.
As if the family is going to get involved in a break up. But there you go, my parents have completely banned me from ever seeing him again.
And it's killing me.
I'd see him on the sly if 1) I'm completely incapable of lying and don't want to go behind my parent's backs as I'd feel far too guilty, and 2) If I went behind their backs and got found out then I'd be sent to boarding school/abroad-this is not the average boarding school threat that most parents throw at their teenagers at some point, my parents have actually begun to make enquiries.
So now I don't know what to do.
All I want to do is see the boy who is incredible. The boy who gives me butterflies and who's kisses make me melt. But instead I spend most of my days dying a little inside while I don't get to see him and my parents will not back down. My appetite has been affected, I feel ill all the time. I'm not interested in anything and I have no motivation except for my music and my photography.
I just want my boy. And I don't know how to make my parents understand this :(
'Oh suprise, suprise Lucy; when have you never met someone who's perfect?'
But he really is.
He calls/texts when he says he will. If he says he'll be somewhere then he will be, and if he's late he still turns up and is always completely apologetic.
So what's the problem then?
My parents believe that his family is rough, and that therefore he is too and that I'm going to be in some sort of danger and getting involved with the wrong people if we get together, not to mention that apparently the house and dogs are also in some sort of grave danger should the two of us break up or something.
As if the family is going to get involved in a break up. But there you go, my parents have completely banned me from ever seeing him again.
And it's killing me.
I'd see him on the sly if 1) I'm completely incapable of lying and don't want to go behind my parent's backs as I'd feel far too guilty, and 2) If I went behind their backs and got found out then I'd be sent to boarding school/abroad-this is not the average boarding school threat that most parents throw at their teenagers at some point, my parents have actually begun to make enquiries.
So now I don't know what to do.
All I want to do is see the boy who is incredible. The boy who gives me butterflies and who's kisses make me melt. But instead I spend most of my days dying a little inside while I don't get to see him and my parents will not back down. My appetite has been affected, I feel ill all the time. I'm not interested in anything and I have no motivation except for my music and my photography.
I just want my boy. And I don't know how to make my parents understand this :(
Thursday, 13 August 2009
This Time Baby, I'll Be, Bulletproof
Mate, I wish I fucking was.
I've had enough of living this lie now, I'm sick and tired of acting like everything is fantastic, and the stupid act the whole family puts on like 'OMG we're so happy and high off life' when in reality I see my Mum die a little more inside every day, feel myself slowly retreating back into that dark place, and see Dad acting more of a twat with every passing minute and pint of beer.
I'm fed up also, of meeting lovely guys and then my parents having a fucking attitude about them and not allowing them round to the house and stuff without even trying to get to know them, it's going to make this situation very, very difficult and I'm not happy. I don't wanna be in the same position as I was a few months ago again, I want to be happy and I want them to be happy that I'm happy.
Anyway, short rant over, needed to get it out some how and as always the blog was the place to go :)
I've had enough of living this lie now, I'm sick and tired of acting like everything is fantastic, and the stupid act the whole family puts on like 'OMG we're so happy and high off life' when in reality I see my Mum die a little more inside every day, feel myself slowly retreating back into that dark place, and see Dad acting more of a twat with every passing minute and pint of beer.
I'm fed up also, of meeting lovely guys and then my parents having a fucking attitude about them and not allowing them round to the house and stuff without even trying to get to know them, it's going to make this situation very, very difficult and I'm not happy. I don't wanna be in the same position as I was a few months ago again, I want to be happy and I want them to be happy that I'm happy.
Anyway, short rant over, needed to get it out some how and as always the blog was the place to go :)
Saturday, 8 August 2009
I Know I'm Good For Something, I Just Haven't Found It Yet.
Tonight was rather difficult tbh. I ended up having to finish something that absolutely killed me, but I just couldn't cope. I haven't had a breakdown like this in a while, it was horrible. I felt in such a dark place but luckily this time I had my girls with me and thanks to them I didn't do anything stupid that I'd most likely have regretted when I woke up in the morning.
Had a good day though; Chesters always fun whether the sun shines or not, and eating KFC in the park smoking too many 'fagarettes' and generally pissing about, it was fantastic. So nice to have a friend that drives because we can just go places, like clouds or something, just listening to our music and not caring what people think because it's us. It's just us.
Sitting in the field by my house, smoking, listening to music and singing. I got so lost in my music; it doesn't always happen like that for me, but when it does it's amazing. I love it. I lose myself and I escape. I have an audition for We Say Summer on Friday, I'm terrified because I'm scared my voice won't be strong enough, or that they won't want a female vocalist after all, but if they do, and I get to do this for myself even as a bit of fun, it'll be the most amazing experience of my life. I just hope I get it right. I got lost tonight though in Drive My Soul by Lights, was listening to it full blast and singing my heart out and it sounded right, Joey said she wished she'd recorded it and that I could actually sing. It reminds me of him though, of the feelings I felt when I got lost on my walk and didn't know what to do, it reminds me of sitting at the side of the road, with the rain pouring down, feeling dead but knowing there's something there around the corner to pick me up. The atmosphere was kinda lost when a rabbit ran out of the undergrowth and scared us both shitless, and then again when chavs came into the field and started shouting stuff, but I got lost and it was amazing for 3 mintues. It also made me realise something really difficult, something that I needed to do with my life, no matter how hard it was going to be.
I got him to ring me, although it killed me inside, and I told him how it was. I broke down, I cried, I wept and I became inconsolable, hysterical and once again suicidal. I wanted a knife, goddamn I haven't wanted a knife like that in a long time. Being physically restrained was difficult, I didn't know how to cope, I never do, but I'm still here and it's ok.
It's ok.
I'm here and I'm not going anywhere-for once I learned how to cope, I saw how much my friends love me, and them having to see me like that damn near finished me off again, I've never let anyone see me have a breakdown and it was terrifying.
I needed to talk tonight, I needed to let it all out and blog about pretty much everything. Sometimes the fact that no-one reads this is a godsend, it leaves me total anonymity, living with depression is difficult for me, I feel alone in a room full of people, and I feel isolated in the busiest, most crowded of places. But my music, my friends, my photography, my dogs and my family are giving me something to live for and I know I'm going to get through this somehow.
And still we will be here; standing like statues.
And still I will be here; standing like a statue.
AND STILL WE WILL BE HERE; STANDING LIKE STATUES.
Had a good day though; Chesters always fun whether the sun shines or not, and eating KFC in the park smoking too many 'fagarettes' and generally pissing about, it was fantastic. So nice to have a friend that drives because we can just go places, like clouds or something, just listening to our music and not caring what people think because it's us. It's just us.
Sitting in the field by my house, smoking, listening to music and singing. I got so lost in my music; it doesn't always happen like that for me, but when it does it's amazing. I love it. I lose myself and I escape. I have an audition for We Say Summer on Friday, I'm terrified because I'm scared my voice won't be strong enough, or that they won't want a female vocalist after all, but if they do, and I get to do this for myself even as a bit of fun, it'll be the most amazing experience of my life. I just hope I get it right. I got lost tonight though in Drive My Soul by Lights, was listening to it full blast and singing my heart out and it sounded right, Joey said she wished she'd recorded it and that I could actually sing. It reminds me of him though, of the feelings I felt when I got lost on my walk and didn't know what to do, it reminds me of sitting at the side of the road, with the rain pouring down, feeling dead but knowing there's something there around the corner to pick me up. The atmosphere was kinda lost when a rabbit ran out of the undergrowth and scared us both shitless, and then again when chavs came into the field and started shouting stuff, but I got lost and it was amazing for 3 mintues. It also made me realise something really difficult, something that I needed to do with my life, no matter how hard it was going to be.
I got him to ring me, although it killed me inside, and I told him how it was. I broke down, I cried, I wept and I became inconsolable, hysterical and once again suicidal. I wanted a knife, goddamn I haven't wanted a knife like that in a long time. Being physically restrained was difficult, I didn't know how to cope, I never do, but I'm still here and it's ok.
It's ok.
I'm here and I'm not going anywhere-for once I learned how to cope, I saw how much my friends love me, and them having to see me like that damn near finished me off again, I've never let anyone see me have a breakdown and it was terrifying.
I needed to talk tonight, I needed to let it all out and blog about pretty much everything. Sometimes the fact that no-one reads this is a godsend, it leaves me total anonymity, living with depression is difficult for me, I feel alone in a room full of people, and I feel isolated in the busiest, most crowded of places. But my music, my friends, my photography, my dogs and my family are giving me something to live for and I know I'm going to get through this somehow.
And still we will be here; standing like statues.
And still I will be here; standing like a statue.
AND STILL WE WILL BE HERE; STANDING LIKE STATUES.
Friday, 7 August 2009
Woah, Lois That's Not My Batman Glass
I have quite possibly just had the best week of my life. Even though there was no Enter Shikari involvement, I think it almost topped that night at Central when they played. And that's saying something, because that was an amazing night.
On Tuesday, I turned up at DeBee's in Winsford to do the photos for I, Said The Spy and ended up getting chatting to a wonderful band named We Say Summer who took me under their wing when I didn't know anyone, and took me on a mission to get McDonald's before their set. Spoke to them for most of the night, and all but their vocalist ended up camping at the campsite at the bottom of my road before embarking on a trip to Chester with me the following day.
After a near drowning at the hands of Ste in Northgate Arena, we trooped to KFC to get food and then to Chester Park where we chilled for a few hours before jumping in the van and heading back to mine for a game of football and an ice cream. On the spur of the moment I ended up making the trip with them to St Helens that night for a gathering at their friend Jay's house. By that point however I was feeling rather ill and sadly wasn't my usual self, I then ended up crashing out at about midnight, before getting a lift back to mine the following day.
We arrived back at mine, only for me to pick up a change of clothes and head back to St Helens to pick up the others and make the long trip down to Birmingham for their gig that night. I went as official merch girl, as their friend Jay does their photography; however he ended up letting me shoot most of the set for experience, which I was pretty honoured to do. Had an awesome night involving hardcore dancing with a blow up dolphin, being disguised as a pile of sleeping bags on the way down to Birmingham in case the police pulled us over for overcrowding the van, Oli Sykes tattoos, pokerface, spooning a statue, too many cigarettes, pizza at 1am, penis love, fanny love and my chemical romance, making the tour video, trying to convince people I was actually Hagrid, Shikari claps, taking the piss out of the crappy emo bands, getting acosted by drunk 14 year old girls, and generally just having an amazing night :)
Got home at about 4 this morning after Shaun from I, Said The Spy kindly gave me a lift home, and have slept most of the day-it's been pretty epic and I'd kill to do it again :)
On Tuesday, I turned up at DeBee's in Winsford to do the photos for I, Said The Spy and ended up getting chatting to a wonderful band named We Say Summer who took me under their wing when I didn't know anyone, and took me on a mission to get McDonald's before their set. Spoke to them for most of the night, and all but their vocalist ended up camping at the campsite at the bottom of my road before embarking on a trip to Chester with me the following day.
After a near drowning at the hands of Ste in Northgate Arena, we trooped to KFC to get food and then to Chester Park where we chilled for a few hours before jumping in the van and heading back to mine for a game of football and an ice cream. On the spur of the moment I ended up making the trip with them to St Helens that night for a gathering at their friend Jay's house. By that point however I was feeling rather ill and sadly wasn't my usual self, I then ended up crashing out at about midnight, before getting a lift back to mine the following day.
We arrived back at mine, only for me to pick up a change of clothes and head back to St Helens to pick up the others and make the long trip down to Birmingham for their gig that night. I went as official merch girl, as their friend Jay does their photography; however he ended up letting me shoot most of the set for experience, which I was pretty honoured to do. Had an awesome night involving hardcore dancing with a blow up dolphin, being disguised as a pile of sleeping bags on the way down to Birmingham in case the police pulled us over for overcrowding the van, Oli Sykes tattoos, pokerface, spooning a statue, too many cigarettes, pizza at 1am, penis love, fanny love and my chemical romance, making the tour video, trying to convince people I was actually Hagrid, Shikari claps, taking the piss out of the crappy emo bands, getting acosted by drunk 14 year old girls, and generally just having an amazing night :)
Got home at about 4 this morning after Shaun from I, Said The Spy kindly gave me a lift home, and have slept most of the day-it's been pretty epic and I'd kill to do it again :)
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